Key Points:

1. Shame often inhibits traders from taking helpful actions or acknowledging mistakes.
2. The internalized cycle of shame can deepen tilt and impair decision-making.
3. Over-identifying with trading results can lead to avoidance, procrastination, and emotional spirals.

Summary:

In session #46, Sean and the SPP community dove deep into the impact of shame on trading and decision-making. They explored how shame, a powerful and often underrecognized emotion, can significantly affect performance, causing traders to inhibit their behavior, avoid difficult decisions, or fall into destructive cycles of self-criticism. One participant shared a story that resonated with the group: feeling shame when offering truth to a friend, reflecting how this emotion can block open, honest interactions. Sean connected this to trading by discussing how shame can make it hard for traders to confront their mistakes or review their poor decisions.

A pivotal moment came when a member expressed, “I don’t think I’m addicted to trading, but I might be addicted to hating myself.”

This candid admission highlighted shame’s profound and unnoticed effect on traders. Sean pointed out that self-criticism creates a deeper cycle of tilt and frustration, particularly after losses or mistakes. The group discussed how shame manifests in trading behavior—traders become overly self-critical, leading to a negative feedback loop reinforcing feelings of inadequacy.

The session also highlighted the dangers of over-identifying with trading results. Sean used the analogy of someone baking a terrible cake and becoming personally devastated when criticized, comparing it to how traders often tie their self-worth to their trading outcomes. This attachment leads to a cycle of shame that can be hard to break but must be addressed for traders to grow and succeed.

C.L.E.A.R. Mindset Connections:

Connect to the present moment and enhance your self-awareness with practical techniques.

• Identifying when shame arises and practicing mindfulness is critical to remaining grounded, even when emotions are intense. This technique helps traders maintain a sense of calm and collectedness, even in challenging trading situations.

Loosen your attachment to thoughts and emotions, and cultivate mental clarity and resilience.

• Separating your self-worth from your trading results is a liberating practice. Understanding that losses or mistakes do not define you can instill confidence and freedom in traders.

Embody your core values and align them with your actions to foster authenticity and purpose.

• Act in line with your values by confronting shame and taking proactive steps to address it, such as journaling and self-compassion.

Accept all the present moment offers, whether wanted or not, and find peace and strength.

• Embrace the feeling of shame without letting it dictate your actions or cloud your judgment during trades.

Respond with decisive, informed action, transforming challenges into opportunities for growth.

• Use shame as a signal to learn, not a reason to avoid or procrastinate. Break the cycle by taking small, actionable steps after losses.

Actionable Strategies:

• Recognize the shame cycle and consciously defuse it by labeling your emotions during challenging trading moments.
• Embracing self-compassion is a powerful tool in breaking down negative self-talk and separating personal worth from trading outcomes. This practice empowers traders, making them feel resilient and capable of overcoming challenges.
• Journal about difficult trading days, focusing on specific lessons learned rather than broad self-criticism.
• Be mindful of procrastination that stems from avoidance and use small, achievable goals to rebuild confidence.
• Reframe losses as part of the learning process and focus on incremental improvements in both performance and mindset.

Act Accordingly:

The role of shame in trading is pervasive but not undefeatable. By acknowledging the presence of shame, practicing mindfulness, and consciously separating your identity from your trading performance, you can start to break the cycle. Defusing the impact of shame allows for more precise decision-making, more resilience, and, ultimately, more consistency in your trading behavior. Let shame be a signal for growth, not an anchor that holds you back.